If words were enough… 18/01/10

I’m not quite sure where to begin. I guess at the beginning would be best.

This week is week 12 for me participating in the mamavation follow-along program and week 416 for me struggling to lose the weight and get healthy. That would be eight years of ups and downs and beautiful moments and not so beautiful moments. I’ve struggled and fought and given up many times. I’ve let myself go and been so afraid to really look in the mirror and make a change, any change. I’ve avoided friends, photos, events, etc. so I didn’t have to be uncomfortable in my own skin in public. Embarrassed.

Even before I got pregnant with my son I was unhappy with my weight and overall health. For too many years I took for granted that I couldeat anything I wanted and not gain weight. While pregnant with my son I gained 50 pounds. After I was able to lose it. It took 17 months and to be honest I didn’t really try hard enough. I breastfed and automatically let that give me a free pass to eat more and not think about it. I did do it, but it was different and I didn’t feel healthy. To celebrate the loss of the baby weight I promptly got pregnant again, LOL. SIXTY-TWO pounds later our beautiful daughter was born weighing in at 6 pounds 5.5 ounces and 19 inches long. UMMM HELLO sixty-two pounds? Really? I was at least expecting a ten pounder! Small babies BIG weight gain.

That was four years ago. F O U R. To date I have lost only 37.2 of those sixty. I’m still holding onto 20.8 of those pounds and wish I could say it was baby weight but obviously it is not. After I lose those twenty I still have about fifteen more to go to get me to a healthy BMI for my height. Confused by the numbers yet? Well what I’ve come to realize is that this journey is NO longer about just numbers.

It is about health and happiness and support.

It’s about getting to that place in your heart that makes you feel comfortable and accepted and beautiful. Landing on top, in control and breathing a sigh of relief that you did it.

I’m getting there. And I’m getting there with the help of my mamavation family of friends, supporters and ”sistas”.  If I had not given twitter a second chance I would never have discovered what “clicked” for me. Maybe it is the support or maybe it is certain people or maybe it is the accountability, maybe just maybe it is all of this AND so much more that is working for me now. And maybe that’s the difference. This is working for me now. Right now these moments are changing my life and I’m doing it. Getting healthy for myself and my family. Making my health a priority and not apologizing for taking the time to do it.

Over the past 12 WEEKS I have lost a total of 17.4 pounds and 17.25 inches. Gone. Forever. (down 1.8 pounds from last week). A great start and just enough motivation to keep me going and going. I really need to take it up to the next level though now and need YOUR help.

Last week I was honored to be chosen for the “Top 5″ of the third mamavation campaign. This is something that I’ve been working so hard to get to and am so close. I need your help to get there. To get to the “Top 2″ and become one of the official mamavation moms. I want to inspire you. I want to make you proud. I want to prove that I can do it and accomplish my goals. I want to lead this amazing group of women and show them that together we all will succeed. I need to continue my journey and inspire others to lead a fit, healthy lifetime.

Will you VOTE for me? Will you help me become one of the next mamavation moms? You can VOTE once daily through this Thursday Jan. 21st when two moms will be named the next mamavation moms at a kick a$$ twitter party! There will be prizes given away EVERY SIX minutes and make sure to RSVP here.

Please visit http://www.mamavation.com to vote for me @trulytrayce. No registration and two clicks is all it takes ! You can also help by passing the word to your twitter friends by sharing the voting link and message.

So as you can see I found many words in this post but none truly express how finding myself again has meant to me. And it is because of many of you reading this post. To all of you, thank you so very much from the bottom of my heart…